James on Corn

James says:

I am going to forge the most powerful weapon in the world. Made with the finest corn, and tempered with high fructose corn syrup. I will create the Maizemune. How delightfully american and japanese! It will be indestructible to even the most potent of stomach acids!

James on Monocles

James says:

I want to sport a moncle and a top hat and panhandle the panhandlers. I would say, "Could you spare some change for a dapper chap down on his luck." Monocle smile

James On Gravity

James says:

I think I accidentally created a star in my stomach. The issue, I believe that star collapsed and formed a black hole. The black hole wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the gravity of the situation.

James Says

I have a friend named James. He writes amazing status updates on Facebook. I asked if I could share them with you and he said yes. This will be a reoccurring segment.

James says:

If I had an animal familiar, it would be an owl with a crew cut and a letterman jacket. His name would be Hoots McGavin.