Arts & Crafts Day!

Materials Needed:

- Ordinary One Dollar Bill ($1)

- Magic marker (Crayon, pen, pencil if necessary)

Make sure to get permission from a friend, DON'T tell your parents you did this.

1. Arrange materials on a clear table.

2. Prepare yourself for amazement.

3. YOU JUST MADE A BONER DOLLAR OUT OF AN ORDINARY $1 BILL!

The Future Is Now.

TRIPLE

DECKER

PB&J*

Holy Sh*t! Why am I always the one who is reassuring me that we are moving into the future?

*Requires two glasses of milk to enjoy.

Dexter Music Mashup

I love Dexter on Showtime. The music in it is just amazing (and the first 3 seasons were really excellent storytelling).

This is a mashup from some guy using the spooky Dexter music (Dirty South??), some other song (Daniel Licht???), and a little Coldplay. Very cool groovy stuff. Thought some of you would like it.

LeeDM101 - Sleazy Cold Dexter (Dirty South / Daniel Licht / Lusine & David Wingo / Coldplay)

you tell 'em

I don't don't how this relates to anything, but I can't not just un-leave it alone.

From: Don't Go Outside (Sean Bonner's tumblr...he's some social media dude...)

WOAH! Look out for this guy!

Please, please, please -- if you find yourself in Brooklyn and you have the chance to see "A Film About... A GUY WHO EJACULATES FIRE" be as careful as you can. Remember that someday your Grandma might found out you went and saw the film, and then you're out of the will.

You hear me? Out of the will.

-jon

The Sign Says It All

I was driving out west a couple years back and I saw this wonderful sign. I will do my best to keep bringing you all the best road signs and billboards I can find as long as I work on this blog. It is my duty as one who travels often, and as an American, to share these ridiculous images with you.

-jon

American Knowledge

A week or so ago a poll came out showing that one in five Americans think President Obama is a Muslim.

Less than half could correctly identify him as a Christian.

One explanation for this is emotions were running high as the "Ground Zero Mosque" hubbub was going on and is fueled by a lot of political right wing fear, and that's sad.

However, there's a sadder explanation.

A survey from 1999 shows that one in five Americans think the Sun revolves around the Earth.

20% of people ten-ish years ago didn't know something we've known since the 1500's.

Also, 66% of people ages 18-29 knew America won it's freedom from England. Other answers included France, Russia, China, and Mexico.

So my friends, don't blame the right wing (although it can be fun) or the left wing (sometimes crazier than funny), but blame ourselves. Maybe we're just not very good at paying atten...LOOK A FUNNY TURTLE!!11!!1

-Andy

Working on the Farm

Beeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooorggggggggggg!

Also funny, as I'm looking for tags for the video I notice that "naked dudes" is already something I use on the hhour.org blog. Hmmmmmmmm...

-Andy

Amish Zebras?!?

This one's for you, 'Brit, Britney, Brittany, Britknee, Britnee, Britt, BRIT-nee'

In Anticipation Of Cider Mills

As promised, here are two lovely photos from a trip I took to the Country Mill last fall. I brought along the new puppy (from last year) named Breslin (full name Jack Breslin Student Events Center).

*As a note, it turns out doggies are not allowed at the cider mill.

Daily Viral - Eagle Men in Speedos...of course

:: Thrift Store Finds :: How Babies Are Made - 1968, RV. 1979

I was at the thrift store a few years back and came across this gem. Absolute gem. I would like to congratulate the people who came up with the best way to get this important topic across in a easy to understand manner. I would more than anything else, like to congratulate the illustrator.

Here are some lovely examples from the book:

(with some of my own captions...)

The examples to help you understand begin with the chicken(s). This one shows the single hole, the vaganus.

Sock Flipping - So that's what the kid's are calling it nowadays

It has come to my attention that researchers* at UC Berkley have achieved the next great step in robotic advancement involving item classification and management.

The robot in the video identifies an inside out sock** as compared to a outside out sock, then proceeds to flip the sock*** on a "sock flipping post**** to achieve dual outside out Sockification.

Profoundly disturbing video:

* By researchers I mean masturbation enthusiasts

**By sock I mean fleshlight

***By flip the sock I mean masturbate enthusiastically

****By sock flipping post...well if you don't get it by now you are definitely reading the wrong blog

Welcome to the future of sock flipping robots*****.

-Andy

***** By sock flipping robots I mean robots who jerk off masturbation enthusiasts

Fuck You Viral

I feel it is my duty to post the most current viral vids here just to keep everyone abreast of what's happening online.

Almost to 1.4 million views in less than a week. There's not even any kittehs in it.

Eazy-E & Johnny Cash Mash-up

Mash these two bad-asses.

Play this song.

Love digital technology.


-Andy

Build Your Hip Hop Cred

Rapgenius.com has developed an app to work with Google Maps that shows you locations specified in rap songs. The kitschy gun tabs are cute and dumb, but the app is actually very cool.

With a heavy presence on New York City the app is somewhat incomplete, but hopefully these guys build their database and show off more of their rap map skills.

Detroit is woefully underrepresented as only tracks for Eminem and one from Twista make the list, but hopefully that's simply a database issue and will be fixed as more tracks enter the library.

-Andy

Britons Are Weird

Do you have your childhood teddy bear? Do you even know where it is?

The Telegraph reports that 1/3 of all British adults still sleep with theirs at night - many take them on business trips to feel more comfortable when away from home.

Nothing about any of this makes me sleep more comfy at night. Sweet dreams.

-Andy

Art by DjBisparulz on DeviantArt

Pure Joy

If you can't love this, than I'm sorry but you can't love anything.

Awesome Show & Fred the Raver

Great show last night Happy Hour people! Thanks for the shoutouts to the hhour blog and special thanks to J-Lo for giving me personal cred (woot!) and Julia for being a new blog checker-outer!

Share with your friends - link on your Facebooks. Here's a present to you from me - Fred the Raver.

This kid knows his jams.

(Notice how cool I think I am for setting a YouTube video embed to play at a specific time marker - woot!)

-Andy

Oh, hello, Julia.

Arm Arm Arm Arm Arm Arm...

Queasy doesn't even begin to describe this:

Double Rainbow 2001 Mash-up

Because we have a bizarre obsession with this particular meme:

Sh*t I Saw When Driving To Kentucky

These ought to speak for themselves, I'd say:

Recap Overload Everything

Dear Friends and Readers,

Ok...

Dear Nobody,

The internet is so filled to the brim with fun things to share that I have been cognitively overloaded. Overloaded by delight you might say. You might. It's possible you'd say that, and even if you wouldn't then it happened anyways. Just because nobody can't read or speak doesn't not mean I aren't doing what I said earlier.

First up:

Justin Bieber's U Smile slowed down 800X which has received well over one million plays in one day. Bump that number up by one or two and give it a listen. Warning, it's an awesome half-hour epic Sigur Ros style ambient melofunk beat:

J. BIEBZ - U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis

There is more, oh so much more delightful things. If you are interested in delightful things, have no fear. More to come dear nobody who reads this blog, more to come.

-ab

Thunder Muscle

I love David Cross. I manlove him. Explicit. I want me some thunder muscle.

Clowns Are My Favorite

People say they are scared of clowns or that clowns are creepy. C'mon, what's creepy about this?

More Clowns

Rethink Your Comedy

You know when you decide to make a video to post on YouTube and you think to you self "Self!" you think, "I should make a super-creepy video - it'll be funny because it's super-creepy. Oh man - this is genius!"

Rethink that.

Out of Hand Invitations

Andy: do you want a bday party invite or can we save the stamp?

Mercury: Save it.

Mercury: I'm busy that night anyways.

Andy: kk

Mercury: Should I send you the invite to mine?

Andy: if it's facebook

Mercury: I'll print out the Facebook invite and mail it to you.

Andy: could you scan the printed out FB invite and email it?

Mercury: I'll just put it in my scanner, then package up the scanner and mail that to you.

Andy: take a picture on your phone of the scanner in a box and mail me your phone

Mercury: You know what, screw the party.

A little conversation I had with my brother today. I think it was worth sharing. Have a good weekend both of you who actively read this blog!

McNugget Madness!

This woman wants chicken nuggets REAL REAL bad but it's that time of day (that tiny little 20 minute period) where they serve only breakfast. WATCH THIS CHICK GO NUTS!

9% of Americans Sampled Approve of Cloning Humans

9%

Victory for the clones.

In a recent Gallup poll of moral acceptability on a variety of issues, the clones defeated us.

Approximately 27,000,000 Americans approve of cloning humans.

According to estimates, clones can potentially be grown in under half the time it takes to raise a normal human, and other sources indicate it's possible to accelerate clone growth to within months.

Think about it! 27,000,000 could be 81,000,000 in months! That's up to 22% approval in months!

Well ok, maybe 18% given a few clonies get antsy in their pantsy and start defecting, but still think of the power of public opinion!

Before long we'll be sending those Gallup approval ratings packing and start a new brand of public opinion! A clone public opinion! HAHAHA!

My friends, the time is now - clone yourselves and position you and your clones in choice demographic markets to get randomly selected by Gallup. It may be complicated, but damn it man! This is the future we're talking about!

Close as it gets?

Hey you sick bastards! Stop it right now! Don't even think about it!

We all know you were going to buy these bottles and live out your sick fantasies with them under the guise of buying your cousin a baby shower gift, but stop. You're not fooling anyone.

Sure they're made for babies to have the most natural experience while nursing.

Sure they're "Soft: Breast like in feel, breast-shaped in design."

Sure you could fill them with a cool fruity sangria or a lemony pale ale and suckle at the teet of summertime.

But that would be sick.

For now my friends, you'll have to curb your sick fantasies and oddball habits and stick with the safe, yet impractical beer-can nipple. Like these incredible morons.

Good morning to you all.

Weezer's New Album To Be Named "Hurley"

I've been a fan of Weezer for a long time, kind of like the family way where you can hate the people because of their continual hit or miss garbage they keep putting out, but you really liked The Blue Album and Pinkerton, and can see their musical talent and keep buying their albums even though you have grown out of their target demographic and are becoming old and cynical saying things like "why don't they just make songs that sound like 'Say It Ain't So' anymore?" or you say "that 'Beverly Hills' is really a dumb song but I like that guitar solo in the middle and the fact that they actually got the Playboy mansion in the video"... (you say all that about family, right?)

Well anyways, their new album is coming out in September and it's going to be called "Hurley." Any of our LOST fans would immediately think of the character from the show. GOOD F*CKING NEWS FOR YOU --- This is the album cover:

What A Wonderful Way To Quit A Job

Check out this link and look at the 33 photos this girl sent everyone she worked with about how she quits and basically what a jerk her boss is.

Really funny! CLICK HERE TO SEE THEM ALL!

Yakuza Review Yakuza 3

Over at the BoingBoing blog a reviewer convinced several of his Yakuza (Japanese mafia) leader to try out a new game made in GTA style only with the Yakuza as its topic - Yakuza 3. He covers some of their major likes and dislikes and gets a real perspective on the game - really cool idea, and an amazing layout!

Well done (as always) BoingBoing.

Link: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/08/10/yakuza-3-review.html

Nerd Alert From The Past - Look @ Each Closely.

Ok, so l I found these wonderful gifts in a box that I never look at. So I open them. And it's SeaQuest trading cards. So I flipped my sh*t and looked at all 75 of them and picked out the best ones for you to enjoy beneath this... (for beneath the surface lies the future.)

Jonathan Brandis! Is your 'Teen Trouble' a result of 'The Burning Within' ???

This skank is begging for it, obviously. (Full Frontal Attack? Really?)

That's not the ocean floor, idiot. That's just the Earth from outer space.

WOAH! Seth Green prior to 'Without A Paddle.' (Though I did just watch an episode of X-Files with him in it.)

F*cking pathetic.

GO-Rilla Attack!

Actually it's a gorilla playing a Nintendo DS. Also humorous.

-ab

Facebook Knows Who Will Miss You.

Apparently if you try to deactivate your account on Facebook, they prompt you with this image combo making sure you actually want to deactivate you. It turns out they also will try to guilt you into staying by using your friends who will miss you.

Mistyped I Guess...?

I Can't Believe It, But I Found It Offensive

Museum of Bad Art

Art to Bad to be Ignored

To appreciate the bizzare is a talent and a gift. To understand the obscure is a rare gift that allows us a glimpse into the black depths of madness. And to love the atrocious is to build a Museum of Bad Art celebrating the fruitless labors of many an untrained artiste.

Delight in the unseemly, the poor depth, the odd angles and misrepresentations of intent. I know you will enjoy this demonstration of poor attempts at art, for we, too, at the H-Hour.org attempt and fail at our art.. Comedy. Do not laugh...for that is the joke!

Link: http://www.museumofbadart.org/index.php

How Google Got Its Name

Mis-spelling goggle is not how Google got its name. Misspelling was involved, however, the said misspelling was conceptually beyond most of us. Remember, these were Stanford graduate students. Not Michigan State University Comm Arts graduate students. Real peaches.

It was a misspelling of the term "googol," which is the number 10 raised to the 100th power. That is, 1 followed by 100 0's. Not goggles.

See Here, here, and here.

Hottest New Fall Trends in Lamp Decoration and Lamp Decoration Accessories Involving Science Fiction Films from the late 1990's

Hey cool cats and kittens. Gettign ready for the new Fall season of in-home decoration madness? I know I am!

That's why I'm so thrilled to bring you this delectable piece. Don't miss it.

It's a Star Wars: The Phantom Menance touch lamp.

It's perfect for those rainy days spent reading a book when switches are too troublesome and you want to be reminded of that movie that you enjoyed in high school or middle school but was a slipshod sequel to an awesome series. Act now!

Don't forget - this is an estate sale auction item, so there's a 3% chance the lamp will be haunted!

Link: http://www.miauctionsales.com/cgi-bin/mnlist.cgi?masllc1/1601

I am interested in sound again

I got some new headphones last week, and now I'm all interested in sound again. They are Grado sr80i phones, and I like them very much. It turns out that music sounds really good when you listen on good headphones. And now I find myself searching and ripping CDs into lossless codec (like FLAC) so that I can hear the awesomeness. Because I frequently find myself listening to electronic music mixes, now I'm searching out lossless mixes. I only mention this because I've been reading vigorous debates about the quality of lossless encoded mixes vs. MP2 vs. MP3 when recorded from digital sources vs. FM.

Apparently, BBC must broadcast a digital signal that some people record and encode, as well as an FM signal. I'm downloading my first lossless essential mix, recorded via FM, and I'm looking forward to hearing it.

Also worth mentioning, all around good person, and sometimes contributor Andy Boyan is officially joining the unpaid staff of Happy Hour Gazette (aka this blog). Welcome him by giving him hugs and stuff. Yesterday he made me farm fresh omelettes with homegrown tomatoes that he and his wife (and God) made on their land in Okemason. We also came up with the best idea evar: Menage-a-Salon. Stay tuned.

Car Key Gnomes

Enough.

Car-key gnomes I will have no mercy. No police, no empathy, no witnesses. Straight up gnome torture.

Dick Cheney will be weeping at the thought of what I'm planning for you little bastards.

Your children and pets will suffer the same fate.

You'll watch.

I am done being a patient hapless victim.

You.

Are.

Mine. ...

EXCESSIVE Ping Pong Celebration

Usually I can embed these videos in right here, but this one has it disabled. BUT, this one is really worth it so check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBXQlGNAx_Q

Dissatisfied 'Customer' (Robber)

Poor Wendy!

A guy walked up to a drive through window of a Wendy's in Atlanta with the cliche gloves and ski mask and robbed the place.

A couple hours later, he made two separate phone calls back to the same Wendy's complaining that there was not enough cash in the drawer, and that next time he robs the place there had better be more.

What an ungrateful jerk!

::Link Here::

The Cause: Terrible Parenting?

Wooden Computers, Eh?

Not really.... Turns out these two idiots in Mississippi were trying to sell blocks of wood wrapped in duct tape and bubble wrap as computers.

And then, as so often how idiots are found, they tried to sell them to an off duty police officer.

Apparently, they also tried binders with paper in them, too.

What's The Best Dinosaur?

Dumb Guy Tossed From Baseball Game BECAUSE...

This guy was at a Phillies game and clearly got wasted with a friend of his. They drink and swear and were a pain in the ass to the people around them, and then his friend got ejected from the game.

That is when this guy sticks his fingers down his throat and vomits on the dude in front of him (some splashing onto his daughter) and then starts punching the guy, too. So, the crowd 'subdues' this idiot and now he's being put in jail for a minimum of 90 days.

...OH YA, the guy he threw up on and punched was an off-duty police captain.

::Link Here::

Double Rainbow AUTOTUNED!?!?