Twas The Night Before Christmas: Happy Hour Edition

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through East Lansing,
All the students went back home,
Few drunk sluts were dancing.

But cool guys like Jon’s,
And Ed’s and ABs,
Still planned to go out,
To the Riv and to Crunchy’s.

The beers they all flowed,
With a nice tall dark head,
When over to more bars,
The three boys were led.

Some say it was angels,
Some say it was fate,
But the bar they were led to,
Was tip top first rate.

The beer flowed like… beer,
And it all was delicious,
But to Jon and the others,
This all seemed suspicious.

Jon yelled out so loud,
Is this an intervention,
It isn’t my fault,
That I love a good beer selection.

When out from the side hatch,
Shimmering with a white glow,
A man in a red suit,
Appeared that Ed seemed to know.

Ed seemed so excited,
To see this fat man,
AB seemed to get it,
But Jon didn’t understand.

Who is this fat guy,
And does he like beer?
Like a stout, or a porter,
What does HE hold most dear?

Jon said to the fat man,
Hey… do you like beer?
The fat man replied,
OH surely you jeer.

I love drinking lagers,
I love drinking ales,
I drink it at Crunchy’s,
Right out of their pails.

Jon said to the fat man,
Actually they’re buckets,
The fat man got mad,
And started a big ruckus.

SHUT UP JON YOU MORON,
I know how to drink,
I run a beer website,
Here click on this link.

It turned out that Jon,
Was too drunk to see,
That this whole thing he made up,
Was an elaborate dream.

So… Santa doesn’t drink beer,
Don’t come start a fight,
Happy Christmas to all,
And to all a good night.